I Stand Alone

Always Look Up... Always...

2011-07-06T22:49:00.000-07:00

wild and free

2011-07-06T22:46:00.000-07:00

New Beginnings

2011-07-06T22:26:00.000-07:00

Proudly Philippine Made

2011-07-02T02:59:00.000-07:00

I Seriously Wanna Have Red Hair

2011-07-02T02:48:00.000-07:00

Misagh Bahadoran

2011-07-02T02:30:00.000-07:00

Doesn't he look like Damon Salvatore in this picture?

Yannick Tuason

2011-07-02T02:19:00.000-07:00

Hech Yeah!

2011-07-02T02:06:00.000-07:00

Is It Me Or Is It Just Hot In Here? LOL

2011-07-02T01:28:00.000-07:00

Please Don't Look At Me Like That Mr. LaBeouf

2011-07-02T01:05:00.000-07:00

Go After What Your Heart Desires

2011-07-02T01:04:00.000-07:00

Azkals

2011-07-02T00:51:00.000-07:00

shining, shimmering, splendid

2011-07-01T20:58:00.000-07:00

You Tell Me

2011-07-01T20:19:00.000-07:00

HAIR!!!

2011-07-01T03:22:00.000-07:00

Keep In Mind

2011-07-01T03:14:00.000-07:00

Dang Damon!

2011-07-01T03:06:00.000-07:00

need i say more?

2011-07-01T02:51:00.000-07:00

there's more to this girl than meets the eye

2011-07-01T02:48:00.000-07:00

that's the idea

2011-07-01T02:07:00.000-07:00

Chapter 3 - Forever With You

2011-07-01T00:07:00.000-07:00

It was the sunlight streaming through the window that awakened Michelle. “Good morning sunshine”, she softly whispered to herself as she stretched.

When she turned her head to the bed beside hers, she saw her friend Nikole still sleeping soundly. God knows what time she came in last night. She herself had immediately fallen asleep after only a couple of minutes. Anyway, she was glad Nikole had a good time. She really appreciated the fact that it was Nikole who arranged everything so that she can take the time off from her work. And on top of that, her friend came with her on the trip too all because Nikole was worried about her. And that thought put a genuine smile on her lips.

Deciding to make the most out of the vacation she has, she tiptoed to their shared bathroom and got ready to face the world. She suddenly felt positive, and then she knew that she was on her way to recovery. And just by knowing that gave her a sense of exhilaration. Nikole was still asleep even after Michelle showered so she decided to leave a note and go outside.

Went out to eat breakfast. Will explore the culture afterwards. Don’t expect me anytime soon.

-Michelle

Michelle found a restaurant almost a block from the cottage that they were renting. She quickly found a seat that faces the beach on the patio of the said restaurant, and ordered some pancakes with fresh orange juice.

She is a sucker for sweets while the only sweets that Nikole can digest are chocolates. Sometimes she even wonders how in the world they’ve become friends. She usually has a sunny disposition while Nikole, when provoked, can become a modern Amazon warrior. Nikole liked salty and fatty foods while she loves sweets and prefer a balance of flavors on her meal.

Yannick knew that he should be sleeping because he didn’t have an ounce of sleep the night before but he was very excited with his “mission” that he couldn’t stay still. And as he stood on his hotel room’s balcony he saw a figure that made his heart go into overdrive. Only one person has made him feel like that.

“Well, hello there Bambi Eyes,” he softly murmured.

And like a bolt of lightning, he tore out of his room and into the beach. He felt slightly anxious just as je reached the lobby of the hotel because he might be too late to find the out just where his “Bambi Eyes” had gone but he immediately spotted her walking towards a restaurant.

Yannick stayed stayed at a distance so as not to arouse suspicion from the girl. God knows the last thing he needs is the girl thinking that he’s another weirdo who’s following her around. He waited until the girl was seated and was already waiting for her food to be served before he stood in a corner at the restaurant and drank the sight of her. Approaching her was not part of the plan. Hell! He didn’t even have any plan to start with. That’s why he was also surprised when he found himself walking towards the table where she’s seating.

While waiting for her breakfast order to arrive, Michelle busied with herself with comparing Nikole’s and her other difference preferences. After a few minutes, she felt somebody standing on her right side. She slowly lifted her gaze to look at the person who was standing beside her. And what greeted her was this guy who had an “I’m lost” expression suspended on his face.

Being the good soul that she is, Michelle asked, “May I help you?”

“Uh… Yes! Actually I just want to ask if I can share your table.” Yannick was very surprised that he can even speak coherently when just one look from the girl had all his insides jumbled.

“Huh?” was all Michelle could do to respond. With an enormous effort, she took her eyes from the guy who’s standing at her side and surveyed the restaurant. Indeed it was already slowly getting filled with people who also want to take their breakfast.

“Most of the tables are already occupied by families and I don’t feel right about sharing their table. Not to mention the fact that it’ll be very awkward to me and to the family as well,” Yannick immediately said in defense when he saw that the hesitation in the girl’s eyes.

Michelle saw that the stranger had a point and besides she was just alone at the table, and what harm can sharing a table do? They were in broad daylight, surely the guy doesn’t mean her any harm. And of course she can always scream should the gorgeous stranger do anything offensive to her. So with a shrug, Michelle motioned for the guy to sit right across her.

Yannick didn’t even know he was holding his breath until the girl indicated that he can take the seat right across her. He knew he was testing the waters more but he mustered all the courage he has and said “Uhh… Do you mind if I just sit here,” indicating the side of the table on the left side of the girl. “That way, I won’t get in the way of your view,” saying the last sentence with a crooked grin.

“Yeah, sure! Suit yourself,” Michelle answered rather immediately. She didn’t know what else to respond when the stranger who’ now sitting beside her looks so devilishly handsome.

Once the stranger was seated, Michelle let her imagine roan free again. And was quite surprised by herself because that was the first thing that Nikole does while passing the time. She went back to comparing their difference and almost opposite personalities and characteristics.

Yannick couldn’t help but look at the girl who is now seated beside him. And what amazed him more was the play of emotions on her face. One minute he saw her eyebrows knitted together as if she was concentrating on something and the next minute the girl’s face showed an amused expression. He knew he looked liked a psycho looking at the girl with such interest so he decided to introduce himself.

He cleared this throat first—more to settle his nerves than to catch the girl’s attention. Nonetheless it still caught Michelle’s attention which made her look at him.

“Hi I’m Yannick,” he started, praying that the girl will pick up his intent. When he saw that she might ignore him, he hastily added “It’s only appropriate that I introduce myself to since we’re sharing tables.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. My name’s Michelle,” and shook Yannick’s outstretched hand. She actually wasn’t planning to get friendly to anybody much less a guy but she didn’t want to embarrass the guy now sharing her table, so she met him halfway so to speak and introduced herself also.

“Michelle,” he repeated as if testing how the name will feel on his lips. And he must admit that he liked the way her name slid on his tongue as if it was the one name that he will never get tired of uttering all his life.

One the other end, Michelle felt some kind of electric current pass through her body when Yannick said her name. She doesn’t want to put a name to it because she just met he guy, nevertheless there’s no denying the feeling.

“So why are you here?” Yannick tried to start some sort of conversation with Michelle. Now that he’s sharing a table with her, there’s no way in heaven or hell that he’s going to let this kind of opportunity go.

He was rewarded when Michelle answered, “I’m here to de-stress and get rid of all the toxins in my body. How about you? What brought you here?”

“Well, I just wanna relax and unwind. You know, have a change of scenery.”

“Hmm… Makes sense since Boracay has something to offer to everybody.”

Yannick was about to say something else but he was interrupted when the waiter came bringing in Michelle’s breakfast. After a few minutes, his order also came.

Michelle was about to comment that she only ordered one serving of the blueberry pancakes and the glass of orange juice when she saw Yannick signaling the waiter to put the food in front of him. And that’s when she realized that they both had the same order for breakfast.

When the whole situation dawned on Yannick, he raised his eyes from his plate just to stare into Michelle’s face.

After a few moments of total silence Yannick asked “Uhh… Let’s dig in?” just to break the awkwardness of the situation.

“Yeah, let’s,” Michelle answered and took a bite full of her pancakes. But what Yannick didn’t know was that she was just as affected of the situation as he was. Never in her whole life had she ordered the same thing with a family member or a friend but now this devilishly handsome stranger who asked to share her table just because there’s no more vacant table available had EXACTLY the same order as her right down to a T.

my favoritest song of the moment, well ever since i heard this on the closing credits for Beastly. hehe!

2011-06-25T00:37:00.000-07:00

a sort of collage that i made using my pics and some other stuff

2011-06-25T00:04:00.000-07:00

Let's start from the top L-R:

· The pic was taken last May together with some very close aunties and cousins from Cebu

· The next pic indicates my huge want to get a tattoo

· This pic was taken when me and my friends went to thebeach

2nd line L-R:

· I used the self capture on my phone to get this picture while I went to Cebu sometime last week

· This picture was taken last summer right in the comfort room of Bethel Hotel in Dumaguete

3rd line L-R:

· I took this picture 2 years ago and I fell in love with it because it captured how the light and the darkness meets during twilight, plus I’m a sucker for silhouettes

· A friend sneakily took a shot of me while I had a nap in McDonald’s after we had dinner because I was uber tired

· A crazy picture my friend took because we we’re wearing black at that event

Let's start from the top L-R:

for my haters

2011-06-24T23:04:00.000-07:00

Oh Yeah!

2011-06-24T22:59:00.000-07:00

This is what I'm going to do for the 2nd half of the year 2011. So yeah, I'm quitting the job that I have for a year now and will just focus on myself. I know that may sound selfish to some but I don't care. They haven't been in my shoes for the 1 year that I worked in an online advertising company. Nor do they have any idea what I've been through. For all the haters out there, "shut the hell up"! Hahaha!

2011-06-24T22:37:00.000-07:00

something to ponder on

2011-06-24T22:36:00.000-07:00

2011-06-24T22:35:00.000-07:00

tomorrow is another day

2011-06-24T22:23:00.000-07:00

never give up

2011-06-24T21:13:00.001-07:00

i have a love-hate relationship with my memory

2011-06-24T21:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I hate it when I can remember things that ought to be long forgotten. :(

2011-06-24T21:07:00.000-07:00

2011-06-24T21:05:00.000-07:00

taking chances

2011-06-24T21:03:00.000-07:00

Bob Ong Quotes

2011-06-24T21:02:00.000-07:00

i aint got time to be scared no more

2011-06-24T20:59:00.001-07:00

2011-06-24T20:50:00.000-07:00

Music and me, we go way back. :]

Fix Me

2011-06-24T20:47:00.000-07:00

Holy Crap!

2011-06-24T20:46:00.000-07:00

Just Be...

2011-06-24T20:42:00.000-07:00

The freedom to just be themselves is the best gift that we can ever give to someone.

Hair!

2011-06-24T20:38:00.000-07:00

I love messy hairstyles!

Boho

2011-06-24T20:37:00.000-07:00

Imagination Is A Very Powerful Tool

2011-06-24T20:27:00.000-07:00

Red!

2011-06-24T20:25:00.000-07:00

Simple Rules In Life

2011-06-24T20:21:00.000-07:00

My Lovely Little Thought. ♥

2011-06-24T20:18:00.000-07:00

The Kind Of Girl

2011-06-24T20:07:00.000-07:00

Re-blogged from Kristy Seno.

PEACE

2011-06-24T20:05:00.000-07:00

Let's make the world a better place.

2011-06-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

Tumblr-rified

2011-06-24T19:57:00.000-07:00

I figured, if I can't open my tumblr account anymore then I just have to make this blog like my tumblr account.

Quotes

2011-06-23T23:05:00.000-07:00

Now thanks to you…
I’m scared to fall in love again.
First of all, you broke my heart
when I expected you to be the last one to do it.
And now I’m left with my heart broken
and in pieces and you don’t even bother to notice.
It’s sad because all along
I thought you knew me better
than everyone else….
but now I am starting to wonder
if you even knew me at all.

Sometimes you think you’ve gotten over a person,
but when you see him smile,
you suddenly realize you’re just pretending
you’re over him to ease the pain of knowing
he will never be yours.

The worst feeling isnt being lonely its being
forgotten by someone you would never forget.

if leaving is the right thing to do…

2011-06-23T22:51:00.000-07:00

“Don’t you see? That’s what proves me right. I care the most, because if I can do it” – he shook his head, seeming to struggle with the thought – “if leaving is the right thing to do, then I’ll hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe.”

Sounds familiar? Well, that quote is from Stephenie Meyer’s famous vampire novel– Twilight. I like it because it follows the “i-love-you-so-much-it-hurts” formula. Not to mention the “you-and-me-against-the-world”, since Bella is a human and Edward is a vampire. Therefore making their love story impossible. And it makes me remember the fairy tales that I so loved when I was younger. You know, Snow White, Cinderella, and all those other princesses, and the ever dashing and handsome Prince Charming. Although now with the exception of Prince Charming, because my Prince Charming now is not a prince riding on a white horse but rather a VAMPIRE driving a silver Volvo. Hehehe! But honestly, I think the reason why so many girls are addicted to the book, and more with the movie, because the storyline clearly depicts what WE have always longed for– LOVE. The true love that would break all boundaries. The love that is willing to sacrifice one’s self for the other’s sake.

(Alice interrupted this time, touching my cheek with her cold fingers. “It’s been almost a century that Edward’s been alone. Now he’s found you. You can’t see the changes that we see, we who have been with him for so long. Do you think any of us want to look into his eyes for the next hundred years if he loses you?”)

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what my reason why so many people are addicted by Twilight.

Chapter 2 - Forever With You

2011-06-23T22:30:00.000-07:00

Michelle though that she will have yet another restless night. Not that it would still matter because she has been having restless nights from the day that she her boyfriend—or more appropriate to say EX boyfriend—kissing another girl. That is why she never noticed that just a few moments after she laid on the bed she was already off to dreamland.

However, it was another story for somebody at the other side of the island.

He didn’t know what the hell was wrong with his body clock. He indulged himself with the myriad of activities on the island not to mention the fact that he was also a little bit impaired because he passed a secluded bar on his way to the hotel. He should very well be asleep by now, but no he was still very much wide awake or his mind is. He was tired but he somehow couldn’t shut his mind down. And his thoughts… damn his thoughts! They keep circling back to the girl he saw earlier at the beach.

Every time he closes his eyes, all that he could see was the pain etched on the girl’s angelic face. He admits, he was really disturbed by the intensity of the pain that he saw. And every time that he remembers what he saw, a violent rage wells up inside him. In fact, that was the same rage that had prompted him to get drunk that night. But as it turned out, he might as well have drunk a gallon of coffee with the result that he was having.

He knew it was going to be a long night so he just braced himself for it. He made himself comfortable by crossing his arms behind his head so that it will serve as his pillow and stared at the ceiling.

He didn’t know how long he had been staring at the ceiling when a sudden thought occurred to him which made him sit right up.

Oh boy! You are in big trouble. And he scrubbed his hands on his face. He stood up when he felt the adrenaline rushing through his body because of the realization.

He stalked the room and although he may look menacing to somebody from the outside with his unruly hair and pajama bottoms—he doesn’t wear a shirt when he goes to bed—he basically didn’t care.

No! This isn’t right! This is too fast!

He felt like he was being suffocated by the feelings that are coursing through his body in the moment. He walked towards the balcony of his room, opened the French doors, and filled his lungs with sea air.

He was staring so hard at the sea, which had turned to dark blue because of the light coming from the moon, as If willing it to give him the answers to the questions that are now flooding his mind.

And because he was lost in thought, the sound of his phone’s call alert made him jump—literally.

“Good job man! That was completely idiotic!” He chastised himself as he answered the call.

“Hey, it’s me! What’s up?” The person from the other end of the line asked.

“Okay, I guess”, he still wasn’t sure if what’s happening to him is good or bad. But he figured that he’ll just cross the bridge once he gets there.

His thoughts were starting to drift away when “Are you still there?”

“Oh, uh… What were you talking about?”

“I said ‘where are you’, Auntie told me you went off somewhere but didn’t inform them where you went specifically.”

“Wait! Did my mom tell you to ask me where I went?! Jeez man! I’m old enough to do the things I wanna do. Hell! I’m even old enough to get married!” Oops! Where did that thought come from?

“Hey, hey, hey! Chill! You can’t blame your mother for wondering where in the world you went. She cares for you dude!”

With a resigned sigh he said, “I know but sometimes it just feels kinda suffocating.”

“I understand. Why don’t you just inform your family, especially your mom, so that they’ll stop worrying about you.”

“Yeah, I guess you have a point there. I’ll do it later.” And made a mental note to take care of it first thing in the morning.

“Now we’ve got that matter settled, can you tell me just where the hell you went?!”

He laughed because he could sense his cousin’s patience running out. “Relax dude! I’m in Bora.”

“So that was why you forgot to call your family, eh?” the caller said with a hint of mischief in his voice.

“Huh? You lost me there.”

The caller laughed and said, “Have you been too busy ogling and flirting with hot girls there that you forgot informing your family where you were?”

“What?!” He was suddenly on a defensive mode. “What the freaking hell are you talking about?! Just because I’m here in Boracay doesn’t mean that I’m already flirting with girls!” Oh, how we wanted to land a fist right in the center of his cousin’s face in that moment.

“Relax man! Why you so defensive?” The caller

Chapter 1 - Forever With You

2011-06-23T20:00:00.000-07:00

“Hey Mitch! What’re you doing here? The party’s inside,” Nikole called out as she approached her friend.

But Mitch just answered with a shrug. She knew that she should answer Nikole but she couldn’t find the right words to say. So she just opted to stay silent as her friend sat down on the sand beside her.

Michelle and Nikole are co-workers in an advertising company. In fact, it was Nikole who interviewed her for her application to the said company. Michelle was good at her job until recently when she came across a turning point in her life. All of a sudden there were some “problems” with her output which have resulted to the big boss talking to Nikole –as she was Michelle’s immediate supervisor –and telling her to fix the situation.

Nikole, knowing what her friend needs, asked their boss if they can both take a leave so that she can personally oversee the situation regarding her friend. And since she worked closely with the boss, it was no wonder that she was given the boss’ consent.

And here they are Mitch thought, in sunny Boracay where the atmosphere is festive every day. The only problem that she’s seeing is that she’s here not because she wants to unwind but because she is recuperating from a broken heart. And with that thought in mind, a single tear escaped from Michelle’s eyes and trickled down her cheek.

Nikole knew for a fact that a tear fell from Michelle’s eyes and so she decided to leave her friend for a while.

“Alright then, I’ll just go back inside”, she said as a farewell to Mitch. “Just come inside once you feel like partying already, okay?”

Mitch could do nothing but to nod in return. And with a sigh she let herself travel back to the circumstances that have led up to that moment.

She had a terrible headache that day and as a result she has to cancel her date with Brent who was her boyfriend. Her parents were also not home because they went on a vacation for their wedding anniversary the week before so she opted to call Nikole. And without a doubt her friend came to her rescue—or sort of as Nikole’s remedy for headache is a good dose of shopping.

Michelle was left with no choice but to let herself get dragged to the mall by Nikole. After some time inside the mall, they both decided to look for a coffee shop so they rest their feet. As they entered the coffee shop she has some sense of foreboding but she just pushed it right out of her mind.

Nikole was busy talking about the latest collection of her one of her favorite designers who is Diane Von Furstenberg when something caught Michelle’s attention. And that was when her world turned upside-down.

Without her knowing, Michelle let out a strangled gasp.

“Mitch what’s wrong?, Nikole asked as she immediately turned to the direction that Michelle as looking at.

All the color drained out of Michelle’s face as she uttered “Let’s get out of here”, to her friend.

“What?! You’re just gonna walk out like nothing happened? Are you freaking kidding me?” Nikole was ready to raise hell.

“Let’s go. I can’t do this right now”, Michelle whispered as she hurriedly walked out of the coffee shop.

“Asshole!” Nikole managed to call to Brent in a voice that was laced with suppressed violence and managed to catch some attention before she stalked after Michelle.

When Nikole found Michelle she was leaning on the passenger’s side as if she had lost all her strength while trying to hold back her tears. Just as soon as slid inside the passenger’s seat, she let go of all the tears she was trying to stop from falling all the while.

“How could he do this to me?” Michelle burst out but she easily corrected herself and started making excuses for Brent.

“What the hell are you talking about?!” Nikole blasted! “You saw the’’ –she was about to say a very harsh expletive but decided against it because she saw that Michelle was barely holding up—“you saw that moron kissing another girl and yet here you are making excuses for him?”

“But Brent will never do such a thing to me,” Michelle replied meekly. “Or maybe that was not him but somebody who just looks like him.”

“Oh, yeah! Like his long lost twin maybe? Are you out of your mind?!” Nikole was on battle mode but when she looked in to Michelle’s eyes all that she could say was “Jeez!”

They sat in the car for a couple of minutes but to Michelle it has seemed like an eternity. When she glanced at Nikole she had her headphones on and she knew that her friend was trying to calm herself also, if only for her sake. After a while, she tapped her arm and told her that if she’s ready they can go home.

Something wet touching her toes pulled Michelle out of her reverie and she realized dimly that it was little waves that had touched the tip of her toes. The tide was rising so she decided to stand up and shake the sand particles that had clung to her dress. She couldn’t believe that it had been a month since the “incident” happened. She was pretty sure it was a lifetime ago because she had stopped feeling after that.

Michelle debated whether she will go to the bar that Nikole went or to just head back to the hotel. When she heard the music blaring and saw the strobe lights, she knew she not yet ready for places like that. So she decided to call it a night and headed back to the hotel.

Little did Michelle know that there was somebody who was observing her all the while. There beyond the shadow of a coconut tree as a man. And he stood there as she stood up from sitting on the sand and watched still as she headed back –to what he conceived to be the hotel she was staying—and disappeared into the night.

Last Week

2010-12-14T01:53:00.000-08:00

Last week, I saw you. I saw you with another girl. I was at a loss for words when I finally got to see that it was you. And then I felt nothing. I felt happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I don’t need to tell myself to stop feeling something for. Sad because I know you’re with someone new now. You might think this funny but the only thing that comes to my mind whenever I think of you is fireworks. Do you remember that night when we sat by the bay one January night and we saw fireworks at a distance? I still remember that night clearly as if it just happened last night. And I remember it more when I feel the cold night wind blowing on me. And I remember it more so than ever when see fireworks. That’s the reason why I can’t enjoy fireworks anymore—because they remind me of you and the time that we had—it was good while it lasted.

Sometimes I feel like cursing the way things work because I know I couldn’t help the fact that you’ve changed. And changed you did. I wish you never have to be nice to me. Sometimes in my most bitter moment, I even get to the point of wishing I never met you. But that’s not the way life goes, does it? I have to get to know you.
They say the only permanent thing is life is change, but why do I always find myself wishing we never have to change at all? Why do people have to get to know each other and just go their separate ways? Couldn’t the fates allow those people who meet to just be happy together? Is that too much to ask? Because if it is then this life sucks. Yeah, it sucks, big time.

Maybe I’m just bitter, but what the heck, I’m allowed to be bitter, right? After all the things that I’ve through with you, I think I deserve a time when I can just be angry and bitter. You think I’m this strong, independent, and liberated girl, but what you don’t know is that being with you and having feelings that I couldn’t explain was like a roller coaster ride for me. And just like ever roller coaster ride, it ended where it all began—at the bottom.

Sometimes I wonder what could’ve happened had we remained close. But then again, I think the fates will always find a way to break us up and separate us. So, I think it’s better this way. Go on your way. Go after your dream. Don’t look back, not even on me. You don’t owe me anything. Go while I stay here and content myself with other people’s stories. Go while I heal my heart. Who knows fate might bring us together again, under different circumstances, in another time. So, go. Go while I wait. While I wait to see if you are the one who is the meant to be with me until I draw my last breath or somebody else. Go because in time I will be fine. In time I will be okay again and in that time I will be ready to give my whole heart again. That will be the time that I’m ready to love again. To love like I’ve never been broken before. In that time, I can say that I have made it. And that I’m ready to begin a new life with the one who is meant to be with me. I will give him all of me because I know it’ll be forever.

So I beg you, go. Go, so that I will have the time to heal myself, my heart, my soul. Time—that is all I ask now? Will you give it to me?

Long Time

2010-09-02T19:34:00.000-07:00

Wow! I can't believe how long it has been since I last written a post here. Don't worry, I'm back for good. And I'm taking a thirty days of letters challenge. Wherein I will post 30 letters for 30 days. And I will update this blog later. :)

My Heart

2009-09-09T07:27:00.000-07:00

Look after my heart—I’ve left it with you.

Strong words that if spoken or written would make a girl’s heart flutter and turn her knees to jelly. But doesn’t everything spoken or written by Edward Cullen makes us girls feel just like that? Kidding aside, there aren’t many guys in the world who—when they are going somewhere—will leave their “hearts” to their girlfriend who’s staying behind. Lucky is the girl whose man is like that.

A little over two years ago, I was forced to make with the decision to break-up with my relationship with my then boyfriend because there was not much left with our relationship. He was in college in Dumaguete while I was trying to survive my senior year in high school in Tanjay.

It was pretty much a long-distance relationship. A month after our anniversary he stopped texting me—which here in the Philippines is like sending IM’s through your phone—and he always had something to do every time I planned to meet up with him. During this time I was left speculating if a third party was involved. I had also other thoughts like “What did I do wrong?” or “Was it my fault?”, but the worst thought was “Am I not enough?”.

The situation continued for another month until I couldn’t take it longer. I told him that we should go our separate ways. He agreed. He moved. I went to hell and back.

Sometime last July I found the guts to ask him his side of the story. He said, “Because we were too far from each other and texting is not enough. And then I fell out of love because I just want you to be near me, by my side, but then you were not. And Trex I swear walay third party. Nawala ra jud, and I’m sorry for that.” Poor little Trexie cried her heart out because of that message.

Looking back at it now, I realized it was pure crap. I was also experiencing the same things during that time. I was the other half of the relationship, wasn’t I? But why did I not lose the feeling? To think it was harder for me because I have to keep it from my family. Another thing, why didn’t he persevere in fighting for what we had at that time? I did my best to communicate with him, but why couldn’t he meet me halfway so that it could’ve been easier for the two of us? So many questions, yet not enough answers. I guess they will have to remain unanswered forever. Let the dead bury their dead. I guess I will have to bury my dead too. And I guess this will also be the last time I will write something about you—whoever you are.

Goodbye Mark…

P.S. Imagine what could’ve happened if only you’ve left your heart with me. And by the way, my heart’s in excellent condition now more than ever.

and this is me

2009-08-03T19:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I can be a bit crazy sometimes. So? This is me. Take it or leave it. I don't explain the things I do. My friends understand and the rest won't believe me anyway.

a poem but at the same time an open letter

2009-07-27T04:06:00.000-07:00

Where’s the good in goodbye?
When it leaves you crying,
broken and so empty inside.

Where’s the good in goodbye?
When all I have are memories of you and me
that are never come back.

Where’s the good in goodbye?
When I know my heart will be lost
without you near me.

Where’s the good in goodbye?
Honey do I have to spell it out?
Goodbye will simply mean the end of my life.

an untitled poem by a rebel kid

2009-07-27T04:01:00.001-07:00

If I could paint rainbows in the sky
I’d do for you
Just to see you smile
And say “I do care for you”.

How I wish you’ll see me too
See these dreams I have for two.
But there’s someone else you love
And all I have are dreams thereof.

And if I’d find the perfect rhyme
To let you know these feelings of mine
Will you say I love you too?
Or turn your back and just say adieu?

goodbye...

2009-07-27T03:59:00.000-07:00

Counting on days gone by 175 days since I said goodbye Tryin’ to figure out what went wrong Like the lyrics of an old heartbreak song. I remember you, I remember me I remember all our memories. Can’t feelin’ how bittersweet The times can be. I feel the cold wind blowing on my face Along with the memories I cannot erase Try hard as I might I’m still having lonely nights. Yesterday is gone and lost It faded just like the snow Like the love we used to know Forever gone, so I let go.

soul mate

2009-07-07T18:37:00.000-07:00

How do you define a soul mate? A friend of mine defined it as your destiny. If that’s the case, what if the person never married? That would simply mean he/she didn’t have a soul mate.

Just recently, I picked up this novel from the school library because I know the author– although I didn’t know the story. A couple of pages into the first chapter, I put down the book because I thought it was boring. But more than a week later, I found myself with nothing to do so I picked up the book again and started reading where I left off.

The story centered around this romance novelist from New York who was unsuccessful in her love life. The novelist was later told by a clairvoyant that a curse was involved in her past life, and that was why all her past relationships, kind of, failed. And she was going to meet her soul mate only after three lifetimes. She then goes to a hypnotist and had herself “transported” back in to her past life.

Now, this book that I’m talking about is Remembrance by Jude Deveraux. And it sparked my interest about soul mates. You see, I know this guy who I’m very attuned to. We get along so well. We can talk about music, movies, politics, economy, our families, our struggles, our dreams. I mean we can literally talk about anything under the sun. Sometimes we think of the same stuff, and there were instances when we finish each others sentence. Now if that doesn’t qualify for soul mate-ship, I don’t know what else. On the other hand, I hope he’s not my soul mate– not that I really did wish he is. Because ha has this habit of “disappearing” when things are looking good between the two of us. All of a sudden he just stops texting. He also stops nagging me about doing some things together. It’s like he just disappeared of the face of the earth. But of course I know otherwise. If not, I wouldn’t have caught glimpses of him here and there in school.

You might think that I’m sour-graping but I tell you, I am not. And if I really do have a soul mate out there, can you please hurry? I kinda need you. But of course, everything in God’s time.

To Him be all the glory!

in memorial...

2009-06-14T22:57:00.000-07:00

This post is still in the works but I just want to put something quite important to me. Today is this girl's birthday. Happy birthday shirl! I miss you badly..

my crushes

2009-03-18T01:15:00.000-07:00

I wanted to post something for the sake of posting. So I thought maybe I could just share some of my celebrity crushes. This is in random order because they're all hot and it's so darn hard "prioritizing" them, so to speak.Hehehe! First stop, Paul Walker. Hot isn't he? Blond hair + blue eyes + gorgeous body = lethal combination. This ladies is Channing Tatum. Have you ever watched Step Up and She's The Man? Yup! He's the super hunk leading man in those movies. Try googling him up and you'll see that most of his pics feature him half naked. Ever wondered who played Caleb in the movie The Covenant? Stephen Strait everybody. He has the face of an angel and the body of a... Ohc'mon ! Fill the missing word ladies. I have to acknowledge my cousin though, because if not for her I wouldn't have known about this guy.

if leaving is the right thing to do...

2009-03-16T22:43:00.000-07:00

"Don't you see? That's what proves me right. I care the most, because if I can do it" - he shook his head, seeming to struggle with the thought - "if leaving is the right thing to do, then I'll hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe." Sounds familiar? Well, that quote is from Stephenie Meyer's famous vampire novel-- Twilight. I like it because it follows the "i-love-you-so-much-it-hurts" formula. Not to mention the "you-and-me-against-the-world", since Bella is a human and Edward is a vampire. Therefore making their love story impossible. And it makes me remember the fairy tales that I so loved when I was younger. You know, Snow White, Cinderella, and all those other princesses, and the ever dashing and handsome Prince Charming. Although now with the exception of Prince Charming, because my Prince Charming now is not a prince riding on a white horse but rather a VAMPIRE driving a silver Volvo. Hehehe! But honestly, I think the reason why so many girls are addicted to the book, and more with the movie, because the storyline clearly depicts what WE have always longed for-- LOVE. The true love that would break all boundaries. The love that is willing to sacrifice one's self for the other's sake. Alice interrupted this time, touching my cheek with her cold fingers. "It's been almost a century that Edward's been alone. Now he's found you. You can't see the changes that we see, we who have been with him for so long. Do you think any of us want to look into his eyes for the next hundred years if he loses you?" That, ladies and gentlemen, is what my reason why so many people are addicted by Twilight.

long time...

2009-03-11T00:26:00.000-07:00

Whew! It has been such a long time since I last posted something here. I became so busy with my school stuff-- assignments, reports, projects, and exams. For a couple of weeks I thought I wasn't a Freshie anymore because of the tons of school work I am handling. Anyway, would you believe me if I say that for a couple of weeks I've lost my writing skills? Yes, it's really true! If you've noticed my last post, it was just a picture and a SHORT sentence. I basically went through-- what I call-- a writer's drought. During that time I can't seem to put my emotions into words. There were times when I just sat on my bed and thought of anything to write but nothing came up. Another time was when I forced myself to think about my crush in order for me to just write something. But then again, nothing came up. I was so desperate to write something but the words which have been good friends of mine have seemed so elusive to me. But now look at this. This is the result of my "word drought". Those pent-up thoughts have burst forth. And this is the result. But I dare not say that this is the end because I still have A LOT TO SAY. XOXO, trexie

i'm waiting for you...

2009-02-15T19:22:00.000-08:00

Who's that person waiting for?

love is...

2009-02-12T18:19:00.000-08:00

Since Valentines Day is tomorrow, I find it appropriate to post something very related to the occasion. During the past two weeks I conducted a survey about the different definition's of love by my classmates and friends. Here's what they have to say about LOVE... * Love is a feeling you give to yourself, as well as e feeling you give to someone special. ---Viernine Mae Ferrer * Love is not a feeling, it is a decision. Love is a never ending process. ---Flor De May Celeste * Love is a choice. ---Nicah Maan Cuevas * Love is sacrificing for the people you love even if it means causing you great pain. ---Krizyl Ann dela Cruz * Love hurts when God knows you deserve someone better. ---Roxanne Teves * Love is something undefinable, but felt. ---Daryl Mak * Love is a feeling that's so unexplainable. When it comes to love, expect the unexpectable. ---Lar Ta-as * Love is a feeling of affection to another person. ---Maymie Romano * Love is destiny. ---Nizza Wale * Love is a passion only triggered when emotional understanding is present in yourself or in others. Emotional understanding because for me, the heart is always below the mind. ---Nico Vale * Love is being happy with someone. ---Apryl Recososa * God is love; greater love has no man than this: that a man would lay down His life for His friends! Talk about love!! Awoo! ---Cole Leo Gegoncillo * Love is a commitment. It is a willingness to put the best interests of another person first. It is grace and acceptance. It is truly rejoicing in the fullness of another person. It is a journey into the heart of GOD. ---AbigailAbella * Love is the greatest force on earth. It has different definitions. But if you haven't experienced to love and be loved back, you can't really tell what love is. ---Floriemar * Love is a language that every heart speaks. It is better to lose your pride to someone you love, than to lose your love because of your pride. ---Reynald Aguit. * I see love when my grandma makes coffee for my grandpa every morning, when my mom wakes up early to cook our breakfast, when my uncle fetches his nephews an nieces from school, when people eat together despite there busy schedules, when my cousin kisses the hurting finger of her baby brother, and when good friends hangout despite the distance. See? Now, who said love was just for couples? ---Gemar Mugatar * Love is all in the mind. ---Carmela Benosa

i'm so not!

2009-02-05T02:29:00.000-08:00

I've always detested people who put a label on me. They put me in a category and seem to confine me in that. They put a stigma on me and no matter haw hard I try to defend myself they won't hear of it. Just recently, one classmate of mine calls me "emo" everytime we meet, and during those times also I'd always answered that I'm not one. I really want to tell her to stop calling me that because it's already pissing me off. I want to inculcate to her that I AM NOT EMO. I'm too crazy to be an emo. I'm too girly to be an emo. I'm too bubbly to be an emo. Heck! I am so not emo!

over and done with

2009-02-01T04:06:00.000-08:00

Midterms is OVER! Do I need to explain that? Well I guess this means I can pour all my attention to the short story I'm going to write. Not to mention have my imagination running wild. Hahaha! Actually, I find writing a short story difficult. My forte is really in writing poems--heartbreak poems. You might think I'm an "emo" but I am not. I really hate it when people call me that because I really am not. I'm too crazy to be called an "emo". So much for that "emo" stuff. I'm just glad midterms is over--and done with. Although I must admit, the results scares the hell outta me. Hahaha!

the aftermath...

2009-01-29T02:19:00.000-08:00

The time after I take my exams always, if not all the time, leave me blank-minded. This time is no different. I walked out my Math room this morning a little bit disoriented. Yeah, I know you think it's a little exaggerated. But that's the truth. My trig exam was over but I still have to study for my psychology and religion exems tommorow. Boy am I going to be glad after this hell--my own personal hell--is through. I gotta go! I still have a LOT of things to study. Sigh. This the prize I have to pay if I want to have good grades... See yah after my midterm exams! :)

the answer

2009-01-21T01:44:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, I can't really say that I feel the "I'm-with-my-special-someone" type of happiness whenever we're together--which is not very often. But all I know is that whenever he's not around, I feel like I want to see him even for just a glimpse. On the other hand, we had lots of fun during those times that we are together. We talk about anything under the sun and we laugh at just about everything.Oohh ! And by the way, I feel very "normal" when he's around. Heck! My knees don't even shake when he flashes me his I'm-so-happy-to-see-you smile. Hahaha!

torn

2009-01-15T21:43:00.000-08:00

I have a new friend who seems to be catching the attention of my fellow Education students. Well, recently people always see us sharing the same table in the library or walking together or just simply being together. They've hounded me for weeks and weeks now asking if the "guy" and me are dating or committed to each other or anythin of that sort, but WE AREN'T. I can't seem to inculcate to them that we are just friends. Last night, one classmate from my Filipino12 subject asked me for his cellphone number. Naturally, I told her that I have to ask him first. So later that night I texted the guy if my classmate can have his number--I read his message this morning because it was already very late when i texted him. And he said 'yes,you can give her my number'. Now I'm torn. I now have the permission to give away his number but i'm having second thoughts about it. Does this mean that I already feel something for him?

ugh!

2009-01-14T02:52:00.000-08:00

I know, long before, that I was never good in math or numbers for that matter. But now I'm on the brink of a break-down. Tomorrow I am going to take a test in trigonometry. And God knows how I will fare the exam. But the good thing is (I hope) I never back down from a challenge. So tonight I'ma be burning my midnight candle, if only to insure a decent test score tomorrow. :)

21 things girls don't realize?

2008-12-18T04:33:00.000-08:00

- Things you might wanna know about GUYS! You HAVE to read all of them and if you don't your going to come across with problems in your relationship for the next month! 1) Guys may be flirting around all day, but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.... 2) Guys are more emotional than you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer then you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try. 3) Guys go crazy over a girl's smile. :) 4) A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to. 5) Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out. 6) If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice. 7) A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you. 8) GUYS LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE THEM!!! 9) Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole heck of a lot. 10)If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl. 11)If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and he is really thinking about something. 12) When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is Guys rarely say that. 13)When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me. 14)If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up. 15) When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something. 16) Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them. 17)A guy would give the world to be able to read a girl's mind for a day. 18)No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it. 19)NOT ALL GUYS ARE RUDE!!! Just because ONE is RUDE doesnt mean he represents ALL of them 20)WHEN A GUY SACRIFICES HIS SLEEP AND HEALTH JUST TO TALK TO YOU, HE REALLY LIKES YOU AND WANTS TO BE WITH YOU AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE 21)Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life.

if i were a boy

2008-12-17T01:11:00.000-08:00

If I were a boy Even just for a day I’d roll outta bed in the morning And throw on what I wanted then go Drink beer with the guys And chase after girls I’d kick it with who I wanted And I’d never get confronted for it. Cause they’d stick up for me. [Chorus] If I were a boy I think I could understand How it feels to love a girl I swear I’d be a better man. I’d listen to her Cause I know how it hurts When you lose the one you wanted Cause he’s taken you for granted And everything you had got destroyed If I were a boy I would turn off my phone Tell everyone it’s broken So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone I’d put myself first And make the rules as I go Cause I know that she’d be faithful Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home) [Chorus] If I were a boy I think I could understand How it feels to love a girl I swear I’d be a better man. I’d listen to her Cause I know how it hurts When you lose the one you wanted (wanted) Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted) And everything you had got destroyed It’s a little too late for you to come back Say its just a mistake Think I’d forgive you like that If you thought I would wait for you You thought wrong But you’re just a boy You don’t understand Yeah you don’t understand How it feels to love a girl someday You wish you were a better man You don’t listen to her You don’t care how it hurts Until you lose the one you wanted Cause you’ve taken her for granted And everything you have got destroyed But you’re just a boy...

crazy!

2008-12-11T02:00:00.000-08:00

what was i thinking when i changed the colors of this blog? hahaha! well, i think my spontaneity overpowered the logical part of my brain. lol

breaking the limit

2008-12-05T02:02:00.000-08:00

Did you know that I actually read Stephenie Meyer's Twilight novel in just 7 hours? I am not bragging,ok? I just feel proud of myself. I know that I can read more than a hundred words per minute but I didn't think I can reach my deadline. Coz you see, I borrowed the book at around 5PM last Monday and I told my classmate that I'm going to return it to her at 8:30 that following day. And I did! (huge smile)

over and done!

2008-12-05T01:39:00.000-08:00

Remember the "report" I was talking about a couple of posts ago? Well, it materialized this morning. I was late for a minute or two and I was supposed to be the first reporter. I know what you're probably thinking, "Always the unreliable trexie". But hey I pulled it off! Or i hope so. (--,) C'mon it's not easy being the fore-runner. You have to pave the way so it'll be smoother for your group mates. Being the first reporter puts you in a make or break situation. You become more or less the sacrificial lamb. I guess I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed until the end of our report.

cleaning up

2008-11-21T01:49:00.000-08:00

For the first time in my life I finally decided to clean up my acts. The first on the list is my language. Uhuh! I'm avoiding profanity nowadays. It's not like I wanna act "holier-than-thou" but I WANT TO CHANGE and become a better person. Not just for me but for the people who love me. And most of all, because i want to pay tribute to my Maker. I am proud to say that after 19 years pf existence I have finally-- FINALLY! --found Him. I won't be scared to admit that I am a Christian. I may not live like I'm one now, but boy am I determined to really be one in every sense of the word. I want to talk, act, and live like a true follower of Christ!

jargon

2008-11-21T01:38:00.000-08:00

Let me start my post with a question. How do you let go of someone you never had? Does it make it easier knowing you never were committed to the person? Or does it make it harder because the person never knew just how much you cared? Whatever it is, it sure is hard to let go of someone you care about. Ask me. I know just how it feels..

restless...

2008-11-19T04:21:00.000-08:00

i can't seem to pin-point the exact reason why i feel so restless right now. i want to do something but i don't know what. my mind wont even cooperate. (sigh)

back again!

2008-11-18T01:40:00.000-08:00

well guess what! meeting just got postponed! darn it! anyways, i can't say i'm happy with that but it gave me an extra time to post something longer. uhuh! and i do mean LONGER. let me recall, my last long post was somewhere in october. guess that's a pretty long time to "gather" ideas on what to write huh? in fact i have tons of ideas swarming in my head right now. the problem is, i can't seen to find the right words to express it. hahaha! i'm thinkin' i can post something about religion,or maybe about just how hectic my schedule is. my love life is also another thing which entered my mind. hahaha! i always have this penchant of sharing my life to the world. hahaha! typical vain trexie. (lol) uhmm, i think i gotta run before my vanity and narcissity (if that kind of word exists in the english language). okay, okay. i'm an egomaniac. so? ;)

don't wanna!

2008-11-18T01:21:00.000-08:00

darn! it has only been three weeks since classes started but i'm already feeling the strain. there are sooo many things to do. i--well, my group and i-- have this kinda long topic to report and there is a BIG possibility that we are gonna start this Friday. oh! i forgot to say,this is still our first meeting. :) there is a lot of pressure on us since the first group to report sucked (oops!i'm supposed to be cleaning my language. darn it!)! well, i gotta run! i'm already late for our meeting!! see yah! :)

long time

2008-11-13T23:47:00.000-08:00

it has been a long time since i last posted... i don't know what to say... :) i got kinda busy with school and stuff... i'll just try to post something next week-- if my schedule allows me to... :)

oh yeah!

2008-10-07T20:57:00.001-07:00

i celebrated my birthday with my family last Wednesday, October 1. it was a blast even though we didn't celebrate it in a fancy restaurant or a five-star resort or something. my cousins were there together with my aunties and uncles. it was crazy (with a capital C)! two uncles of mine wanted me to intoxicate my system with booze! and i was like, "Okay! what the hell! you asked for it", but my grandma was watching near by so i demurely declined the offer.hahaha ! if my grandma was not around that time, i wouldn't say no to them. there's nothing like being "legally" allowed to drown yourself with booze. anyways, i was so touched with the first person who greeted me. actually, he just texted me at the first minute of my birthday (technically, that's 00:01,October 1,2008). the message was just "happy birthday boss!" (and sent 3 times,mind you). and take note, he would've called me had not my sister stopped him. all for the sole reason that he wanted to greet me. and you know who he is? my sister's boyfriend. yup! her man. i was so touched, it solicited my first smile of the day. there were also others who greeted me--aside from my family. there was Maan,and K.A.,and Stella,and Frencille,and Junborg,and Bagzy,and Lar, and lastly Joshua (whom i had to remind because he forgot). =) so basically those were the people who greeted me and--allow me to say-- remembered my special day. to those who forgot my birthday,well,TO HELL WITH YOU!(the rebel steps out again.LOL) the end but not yet over.

my bad

2008-10-07T20:51:00.000-07:00

have you ever made a "big mistake" in your life? and no matter how hard you try you can never undo it? or no matter how much you try to move on you seem to be stuck in that era? yeah, well, i guess that's how i feel right now.. but life goes on and so must i. there's no use crying over spilled milk, right? i may be stupid for making that mistake. i may be hurt because of that. BUT I LEARNED. i guess all i can say is "Oops! My bad!"

goodbye...

2008-09-16T02:12:00.000-07:00

where's the good in goodbye? when it leaves you crying, broken and so empty inside. where's the good in goodbye? when all i have are memories of you and me that will never come back. where's the good in goodbye? when i know my heart will be lost without you near me. where's the good in goodbye? honey do i have to spell it out? goodbye will simply mean the end of my life.

l-o-v-e

2008-09-16T01:55:00.000-07:00

Love is the most vulnerable of all feelings; it is fleeting, capable of evaporating like mist in the morning sun. A little insincerity makes us doubt it. An argument over little things can threaten it. Sometimes it seems much easier not to struggle to love another but to be content just LOVE OURSELVES.

maybe

2008-09-02T19:45:00.000-07:00

maybe it's not meant to be

this thing between

you and me.

maybe we're working

against the fates,

because neither of us

is meant to stay.

maybe it's time

to let go

forget everything

and just move on.

maybe we've reached

the end,

and it's time to say

our fare-thee-wells.

a broken heart

2008-09-02T05:42:00.000-07:00

ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN A BROKEN HEART : A BROKEN HEART is when you actually refuse to get out of bed in the morning because you are afraid of the reality that awaits you. A BROKEN HEART is when you think about the individual that broke your heart constantly. You reminisce the "Good Times" almost as if the "Bad Times" never existed. A BROKEN HEART is when you are crying yourself to sleep every night & yet crying more & more each morning. A BROKEN HEART is the unforgettable smell of his shirt that sits in that empty box; stowed away. A BROKEN HEART is the cold shattering feeling you receive when you hear the syllables of his name. A BROKEN HEART is glancing at the pictures of the two of you, & then quickly turning your attention to something else to avoid your tears. A BROKEN HEART is re-reading his ancient letters & putting away the jewelry that he once bought for you. A BROKEN HEART is secretly wanting to run back to him & secretly wanting to just be loved by him again. A BROKEN HEART is asking desperately for just one last chance with the only person responsible for your loneliness. A BROKEN HEART is forcing yourself to hang up the phone after you have dialed the first three digits to his number. A BROKEN HEART is screaming & begging for a second chance inside. A BROKEN HEART is the emptiness & heart-wrenching feeling you encounter when you see him with his new love .A BROKEN HEART is knowing that no matter what you do or say to yourself, you can't fool your heart into believing that you will in fact "Be Alright." A BROKEN HEART is seeing him, & even though it may be the hardest thing that you have ever had to do, you decide to walk away. A BROKEN HEART is listening to that one song that makes you break down over & over again. A BROKEN HEART sometimes means: not wanting to go on.

broken

2008-09-02T05:02:00.000-07:00

Now thanks to you... I'm scared to fall in love again. First of all, you broke my heart when I expected you to be the last one to do it. And now I'm left with my heart broken and in pieces and you don't even bother to notice. It's sad because all along I thought you knew me better than everyone else... but now I am starting to wonder if you even knew me at all.

Sometimes you think you've gotten over a person, but when you see him smile,you suddenly realize you're just pretending you're over him to ease the pain of knowing he will never be yours.

The worst feeling isn't being lonely its being forgotten by someone you would never forget.

what people are afraid to say...

2008-08-08T05:16:00.000-07:00

People are afraid of saying "I love you" only to hear "I don't care" in response. They fear exposing their weakness by admitting their hurt. They fear being abandoned if they express their anger. They fear telling the truth and hurting their partner. They fear revealing their ignorance, starting a fight, opening old wounds. And yet ignorance comes from withholding inquiry, fights occur because consensus has not been reached, and old wounds fester because they have not been exposed. Learning to talk takes bravery and trust. The rewards are worth the risk.

ReBeL KiD

2008-07-17T01:16:00.000-07:00

i hate feeling like this!!! i hate pretending to be fine when deep inside i know i'm next to dyin'. i hate surrounding myself with a friend or two, and hang out in crowded places to blot out this empty feeling inside. i hate the person who more or less caused what i'm feeling. and most of all, i hate myself for feeling this way. i should've known better than let to that person get close to me. i wish i could've known sooner...(dammit!)

expired

2008-07-17T00:48:00.000-07:00

it's kinda funny how we-teenagers-use the word "expired" to describe our feelings when we feel lousy or sad. why can't we just honestly say how we are feeling? then our world could become a much less pretentious world. why can't we practice telling the truth? it couldn't be that hard saying what you really feel inside even if it means unveiling the real you.

but then this world revolves around irony. and irony of all ironies, i'm posting about being real and yet i can't bring myself to admit to someone that that someone is causing me pain... :c

i never thoughted!

2008-07-07T03:19:00.000-07:00

i never thought ROTC could be this FUN!!! hehehe! for an asthmatic girl, ROTC could mean a death sentence. yup! a literal death sentence. imagine this, students doing military drills under the scorching heat of the sun. thank heavens i'm assigned at the HQ PD. which means, i'll still be undergoing military training but- there's a BIG but- i'm doing it under the "protection" of the grandstand. hahaha! plus with the cute officers (yup! there are more than enough cute officers for you to admire) ROTC is definitely a thing to watch for. ROTC ROCKS!!! yeah!

2008-06-21T13:49:00.000-07:00

some things are not meant to be kept forever... you know you have to stop and let go when things aren't going right, and everything you did is unappreciated... remember, it is wiser to be alone but happy... than with somebody who do nothing while you do everything...

2008-04-28T00:53:00.000-07:00

my mind is blank but i want to write something. although i don't know what. let's just say i'm in the mood for reflecting. ok. question, if you're gloria macapagal arroyo,what will you do regarding the ZTE scandal? will you come clean? or will you "pretend" that you don't have any notion regarding the kickbacks? guys,i think it's high time for us to involve ourselves in the current happenings in our country. we can go out and raise our voices. well, not literaly,i mean. you can say what you feel on your friendster accounts or your blogs.

2008-04-07T19:35:00.000-07:00

2008-01-24T01:35:00.000-08:00

you can't hurry love... coz it always takes its time...