What Now?

I find myself in a melancholic mood today and so I found myself wondering. Is this all there is to it? Somehow I realized that things weren't going the way I thought they'd be and now I wonder if my plans for the next few months are still possible. Then I ask myself "what happens if doesn't pan out?". Do I push through with everything even if the odds are stacked against me? Or I regroup and wait for a better time? But what if my idea of a "better time" doesn't come? What now? This is the question running through my mind right this very moment. What now?

I guess I'll just have to let myself wallow in self-pity--if only for this time. I'll feel better later. Maybe, maybe not. But for now, I'll let this be...

New Beginnings

Go After What Your Heart Desires

You Tell Me

if leaving is the right thing to do…

“Don’t you see? That’s what proves me right. I care the most, because if I can do it” – he shook his head, seeming to struggle with the thought – “if leaving is the right thing to do, then I’ll hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe.”

Sounds familiar? Well, that quote is from Stephenie Meyer’s famous vampire novel– Twilight. I like it because it follows the “i-love-you-so-much-it-hurts” formula. Not to mention the “you-and-me-against-the-world”, since Bella is a human and Edward is a vampire. Therefore making their love story impossible. And it makes me remember the fairy tales that I so loved when I was younger. You know, Snow White, Cinderella, and all those other princesses, and the ever dashing and handsome Prince Charming. Although now with the exception of Prince Charming, because my Prince Charming now is not a prince riding on a white horse but rather a VAMPIRE driving a silver Volvo. Hehehe! But honestly, I think the reason why so many girls are addicted to the book, and more with the movie, because the storyline clearly depicts what WE have always longed for– LOVE. The true love that would break all boundaries. The love that is willing to sacrifice one’s self for the other’s sake.

(Alice interrupted this time, touching my cheek with her cold fingers. “It’s been almost a century that Edward’s been alone. Now he’s found you. You can’t see the changes that we see, we who have been with him for so long. Do you think any of us want to look into his eyes for the next hundred years if he loses you?”)

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what my reason why so many people are addicted by Twilight.

 

soul mate

How do you define a soul mate? A friend of mine defined it as your destiny. If that’s the case, what if the person never married? That would simply mean he/she didn’t have a soul mate.

Just recently, I picked up this novel from the school library because I know the author– although I didn’t know the story. A couple of pages into the first chapter, I put down the book because I thought it was boring. But more than a week later, I found myself with nothing to do so I picked up the book again and started reading where I left off.

The story centered around this romance novelist from New York who was unsuccessful in her love life. The novelist was later told by a clairvoyant that a curse was involved in her past life, and that was why all her past relationships, kind of, failed. And she was going to meet her soul mate only after three lifetimes. She then goes to a hypnotist and had herself “transported” back in to her past life.

Now, this book that I’m talking about is Remembrance by Jude Deveraux. And it sparked my interest about soul mates. You see, I know this guy who I’m very attuned to. We get along so well. We can talk about music, movies, politics, economy, our families, our struggles, our dreams. I mean we can literally talk about anything under the sun. Sometimes we think of the same stuff, and there were instances when we finish each others sentence. Now if that doesn’t qualify for soul mate-ship, I don’t know what else. On the other hand, I hope he’s not my soul mate– not that I really did wish he is. Because ha has this habit of “disappearing” when things are looking good between the two of us. All of a sudden he just stops texting. He also stops nagging me about doing some things together. It’s like he just disappeared of the face of the earth. But of course I know otherwise. If not, I wouldn’t have caught glimpses of him here and there in school.

You might think that I’m sour-graping but I tell you, I am not. And if I really do have a soul mate out there, can you please hurry? I kinda need you. But of course, everything in God’s time.

To Him be all the glory!