Volleyball Story

Damn Straight

Blellie At It's Best

I just want to say I just became a gi-normous fan of forehead kisses! So dear future boyfriend, you need to be taller than me. Sincerely, Me.

Rebel Heart

Rebel Heart is the title of the story I read weeks ago. I read it online on this site. I thought it was just another run-off-the-mill love story where the male and female protagonists get all cuddly and mushy with each other--I was wrong.

The story took place in a nuclear-ravaged United States in 2135 AD, where the line between allies and enemies have blurred. Lana, the female protagonist, works for the government. Before chaos erupted, her boss called her, using a secure line, instructing her to prepare her things because she will be going away for an indefinite time and somebody will contact her. The name of that somebody is Brady--who, by the way used Guardian as his codename while giving Lana the codename Angel. The two of them continue communicating with each other through the use of a radio. My previous post is just one of the many "radio conversations" they had before they actually met each other.

Rebel Heart is actually quite a unique and captivating story which I highly recommend to readers who want to have the elements of romance and action in one story.

P.S. Sorry if I don't refer to it as a book because it's not really a book according to my vocabulary. :D

guys should learn something from this kid

How To Make Me Fall In Love With You

How To Make Me Fall In Love With You

Love Is Louder

Sissy Love

For what it's worth, I miss my sister. :( She had to go somewhere and every night I wish I can turn back the time so I can safely keep her inside the house. Alas! Some things can't be stopped. Or maybe they can. I just didn't have the strength to stop her. Dammit!

Forehead Kisses

I love forehead kisses. They make me feel treasured and respected.

that's the idea

Chapter 3 - Forever With You

It was the sunlight streaming through the window that awakened Michelle. “Good morning sunshine”, she softly whispered to herself as she stretched.

When she turned her head to the bed beside hers, she saw her friend Nikole still sleeping soundly. God knows what time she came in last night. She herself had immediately fallen asleep after only a couple of minutes. Anyway, she was glad Nikole had a good time. She really appreciated the fact that it was Nikole who arranged everything so that she can take the time off from her work. And on top of that, her friend came with her on the trip too all because Nikole was worried about her. And that thought put a genuine smile on her lips.

Deciding to make the most out of the vacation she has, she tiptoed to their shared bathroom and got ready to face the world. She suddenly felt positive, and then she knew that she was on her way to recovery. And just by knowing that gave her a sense of exhilaration. Nikole was still asleep even after Michelle showered so she decided to leave a note and go outside.

Went out to eat breakfast. Will explore the culture afterwards. Don’t expect me anytime soon.

-Michelle

Michelle found a restaurant almost a block from the cottage that they were renting. She quickly found a seat that faces the beach on the patio of the said restaurant, and ordered some pancakes with fresh orange juice.

She is a sucker for sweets while the only sweets that Nikole can digest are chocolates. Sometimes she even wonders how in the world they’ve become friends. She usually has a sunny disposition while Nikole, when provoked, can become a modern Amazon warrior. Nikole liked salty and fatty foods while she loves sweets and prefer a balance of flavors on her meal.

Yannick knew that he should be sleeping because he didn’t have an ounce of sleep the night before but he was very excited with his “mission” that he couldn’t stay still. And as he stood on his hotel room’s balcony he saw a figure that made his heart go into overdrive. Only one person has made him feel like that.

“Well, hello there Bambi Eyes,” he softly murmured.

And like a bolt of lightning, he tore out of his room and into the beach. He felt slightly anxious just as je reached the lobby of the hotel because he might be too late to find the out just where his “Bambi Eyes” had gone but he immediately spotted her walking towards a restaurant.

Yannick stayed stayed at a distance so as not to arouse suspicion from the girl. God knows the last thing he needs is the girl thinking that he’s another weirdo who’s following her around. He waited until the girl was seated and was already waiting for her food to be served before he stood in a corner at the restaurant and drank the sight of her. Approaching her was not part of the plan. Hell! He didn’t even have any plan to start with. That’s why he was also surprised when he found himself walking towards the table where she’s seating.

While waiting for her breakfast order to arrive, Michelle busied with herself with comparing Nikole’s and her other difference preferences. After a few minutes, she felt somebody standing on her right side. She slowly lifted her gaze to look at the person who was standing beside her. And what greeted her was this guy who had an “I’m lost” expression suspended on his face.

Being the good soul that she is, Michelle asked, “May I help you?”

“Uh… Yes! Actually I just want to ask if I can share your table.” Yannick was very surprised that he can even speak coherently when just one look from the girl had all his insides jumbled.

“Huh?” was all Michelle could do to respond. With an enormous effort, she took her eyes from the guy who’s standing at her side and surveyed the restaurant. Indeed it was already slowly getting filled with people who also want to take their breakfast.

“Most of the tables are already occupied by families and I don’t feel right about sharing their table. Not to mention the fact that it’ll be very awkward to me and to the family as well,” Yannick immediately said in defense when he saw that the hesitation in the girl’s eyes.

Michelle saw that the stranger had a point and besides she was just alone at the table, and what harm can sharing a table do? They were in broad daylight, surely the guy doesn’t mean her any harm. And of course she can always scream should the gorgeous stranger do anything offensive to her. So with a shrug, Michelle motioned for the guy to sit right across her.

Yannick didn’t even know he was holding his breath until the girl indicated that he can take the seat right across her. He knew he was testing the waters more but he mustered all the courage he has and said “Uhh… Do you mind if I just sit here,” indicating the side of the table on the left side of the girl. “That way, I won’t get in the way of your view,” saying the last sentence with a crooked grin.

“Yeah, sure! Suit yourself,” Michelle answered rather immediately. She didn’t know what else to respond when the stranger who’ now sitting beside her looks so devilishly handsome.

Once the stranger was seated, Michelle let her imagine roan free again. And was quite surprised by herself because that was the first thing that Nikole does while passing the time. She went back to comparing their difference and almost opposite personalities and characteristics.

Yannick couldn’t help but look at the girl who is now seated beside him. And what amazed him more was the play of emotions on her face. One minute he saw her eyebrows knitted together as if she was concentrating on something and the next minute the girl’s face showed an amused expression. He knew he looked liked a psycho looking at the girl with such interest so he decided to introduce himself.

He cleared this throat first—more to settle his nerves than to catch the girl’s attention. Nonetheless it still caught Michelle’s attention which made her look at him.

“Hi I’m Yannick,” he started, praying that the girl will pick up his intent. When he saw that she might ignore him, he hastily added “It’s only appropriate that I introduce myself to since we’re sharing tables.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. My name’s Michelle,” and shook Yannick’s outstretched hand. She actually wasn’t planning to get friendly to anybody much less a guy but she didn’t want to embarrass the guy now sharing her table, so she met him halfway so to speak and introduced herself also.

“Michelle,” he repeated as if testing how the name will feel on his lips. And he must admit that he liked the way her name slid on his tongue as if it was the one name that he will never get tired of uttering all his life.

One the other end, Michelle felt some kind of electric current pass through her body when Yannick said her name. She doesn’t want to put a name to it because she just met he guy, nevertheless there’s no denying the feeling.

“So why are you here?” Yannick tried to start some sort of conversation with Michelle. Now that he’s sharing a table with her, there’s no way in heaven or hell that he’s going to let this kind of opportunity go.

He was rewarded when Michelle answered, “I’m here to de-stress and get rid of all the toxins in my body. How about you? What brought you here?”

“Well, I just wanna relax and unwind. You know, have a change of scenery.”

“Hmm… Makes sense since Boracay has something to offer to everybody.”

Yannick was about to say something else but he was interrupted when the waiter came bringing in Michelle’s breakfast. After a few minutes, his order also came.

Michelle was about to comment that she only ordered one serving of the blueberry pancakes and the glass of orange juice when she saw Yannick signaling the waiter to put the food in front of him. And that’s when she realized that they both had the same order for breakfast.

When the whole situation dawned on Yannick, he raised his eyes from his plate just to stare into Michelle’s face.

After a few moments of total silence Yannick asked “Uhh… Let’s dig in?” just to break the awkwardness of the situation.

“Yeah, let’s,” Michelle answered and took a bite full of her pancakes. But what Yannick didn’t know was that she was just as affected of the situation as he was. Never in her whole life had she ordered the same thing with a family member or a friend but now this devilishly handsome stranger who asked to share her table just because there’s no more vacant table available had EXACTLY the same order as her right down to a T.

 

Quotes

Now thanks to you…
I’m scared to fall in love again.
First of all, you broke my heart
when I expected you to be the last one to do it.
And now I’m left with my heart broken
and in pieces and you don’t even bother to notice.
It’s sad because all along
I thought you knew me better
than everyone else….
but now I am starting to wonder
if you even knew me at all.

Sometimes you think you’ve gotten over a person,
but when you see him smile,
you suddenly realize you’re just pretending
you’re over him to ease the pain of knowing
he will never be yours.

The worst feeling isnt being lonely its being
forgotten by someone you would never forget.

if leaving is the right thing to do…

“Don’t you see? That’s what proves me right. I care the most, because if I can do it” – he shook his head, seeming to struggle with the thought – “if leaving is the right thing to do, then I’ll hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe.”

Sounds familiar? Well, that quote is from Stephenie Meyer’s famous vampire novel– Twilight. I like it because it follows the “i-love-you-so-much-it-hurts” formula. Not to mention the “you-and-me-against-the-world”, since Bella is a human and Edward is a vampire. Therefore making their love story impossible. And it makes me remember the fairy tales that I so loved when I was younger. You know, Snow White, Cinderella, and all those other princesses, and the ever dashing and handsome Prince Charming. Although now with the exception of Prince Charming, because my Prince Charming now is not a prince riding on a white horse but rather a VAMPIRE driving a silver Volvo. Hehehe! But honestly, I think the reason why so many girls are addicted to the book, and more with the movie, because the storyline clearly depicts what WE have always longed for– LOVE. The true love that would break all boundaries. The love that is willing to sacrifice one’s self for the other’s sake.

(Alice interrupted this time, touching my cheek with her cold fingers. “It’s been almost a century that Edward’s been alone. Now he’s found you. You can’t see the changes that we see, we who have been with him for so long. Do you think any of us want to look into his eyes for the next hundred years if he loses you?”)

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what my reason why so many people are addicted by Twilight.

 

Last Week

Last week, I saw you. I saw you with another girl. I was at a loss for words when I finally got to see that it was you. And then I felt nothing. I felt happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I don’t need to tell myself to stop feeling something for. Sad because I know you’re with someone new now. You might think this funny but the only thing that comes to my mind whenever I think of you is fireworks. Do you remember that night when we sat by the bay one January night and we saw fireworks at a distance? I still remember that night clearly as if it just happened last night. And I remember it more when I feel the cold night wind blowing on me. And I remember it more so than ever when see fireworks. That’s the reason why I can’t enjoy fireworks anymore—because they remind me of you and the time that we had—it was good while it lasted.

Sometimes I feel like cursing the way things work because I know I couldn’t help the fact that you’ve changed. And changed you did. I wish you never have to be nice to me. Sometimes in my most bitter moment, I even get to the point of wishing I never met you. But that’s not the way life goes, does it? I have to get to know you.
They say the only permanent thing is life is change, but why do I always find myself wishing we never have to change at all? Why do people have to get to know each other and just go their separate ways? Couldn’t the fates allow those people who meet to just be happy together? Is that too much to ask? Because if it is then this life sucks. Yeah, it sucks, big time.

Maybe I’m just bitter, but what the heck, I’m allowed to be bitter, right? After all the things that I’ve through with you, I think I deserve a time when I can just be angry and bitter. You think I’m this strong, independent, and liberated girl, but what you don’t know is that being with you and having feelings that I couldn’t explain was like a roller coaster ride for me. And just like ever roller coaster ride, it ended where it all began—at the bottom.

Sometimes I wonder what could’ve happened had we remained close. But then again, I think the fates will always find a way to break us up and separate us. So, I think it’s better this way. Go on your way. Go after your dream. Don’t look back, not even on me. You don’t owe me anything. Go while I stay here and content myself with other people’s stories. Go while I heal my heart. Who knows fate might bring us together again, under different circumstances, in another time. So, go. Go while I wait. While I wait to see if you are the one who is the meant to be with me until I draw my last breath or somebody else. Go because in time I will be fine. In time I will be okay again and in that time I will be ready to give my whole heart again. That will be the time that I’m ready to love again. To love like I’ve never been broken before. In that time, I can say that I have made it. And that I’m ready to begin a new life with the one who is meant to be with me. I will give him all of me because I know it’ll be forever.

So I beg you, go. Go, so that I will have the time to heal myself, my heart, my soul. Time—that is all I ask now? Will you give it to me?

My Heart

Look after my heart—I’ve left it with you.

Strong words that if spoken or written would make a girl’s heart flutter and turn her knees to jelly. But doesn’t everything spoken or written by Edward Cullen makes us girls feel just like that? Kidding aside, there aren’t many guys in the world who—when they are going somewhere—will leave their “hearts” to their girlfriend who’s staying behind. Lucky is the girl whose man is like that.

A little over two years ago, I was forced to make with the decision to break-up with my relationship with my then boyfriend because there was not much left with our relationship. He was in college in Dumaguete while I was trying to survive my senior year in high school in Tanjay.

It was pretty much a long-distance relationship. A month after our anniversary he stopped texting me—which here in the Philippines is like sending IM’s through your phone—and he always had something to do every time I planned to meet up with him. During this time I was left speculating if a third party was involved. I had also other thoughts like “What did I do wrong?” or “Was it my fault?”, but the worst thought was “Am I not enough?”.

The situation continued for another month until I couldn’t take it longer. I told him that we should go our separate ways. He agreed. He moved. I went to hell and back.

Sometime last July I found the guts to ask him his side of the story. He said, “Because we were too far from each other and texting is not enough. And then I fell out of love because I just want you to be near me, by my side, but then you were not. And Trex I swear walay third party. Nawala ra jud, and I’m sorry for that.” Poor little Trexie cried her heart out because of that message.

Looking back at it now, I realized it was pure crap. I was also experiencing the same things during that time. I was the other half of the relationship, wasn’t I? But why did I not lose the feeling? To think it was harder for me because I have to keep it from my family. Another thing, why didn’t he persevere in fighting for what we had at that time? I did my best to communicate with him, but why couldn’t he meet me halfway so that it could’ve been easier for the two of us? So many questions, yet not enough answers. I guess they will have to remain unanswered forever. Let the dead bury their dead. I guess I will have to bury my dead too. And I guess this will also be the last time I will write something about you—whoever you are.

Goodbye Mark…

 

P.S. Imagine what could’ve happened if only you’ve left your heart with me. And by the way, my heart’s in excellent condition now more than ever.

goodbye...

Counting on days gone by
175 days since I said goodbye
Tryin’ to figure out what went wrong
Like the lyrics of an old heartbreak song.

I remember you, I remember me
I remember all our memories.
Can’t feelin’ how bittersweet
The times can be.

I feel the cold wind blowing on my face
Along with the memories I cannot erase
Try hard as I might
I’m still having lonely nights.

Yesterday is gone and lost
It faded just like the snow
Like the love we used to know
Forever gone, so I let go.