don't wanna!

darn! it has only been three weeks since classes started but i'm already feeling the strain. there are sooo
many things to do. i--well, my group and i-- have this kinda long topic
to report and there is a BIG possibility that we are gonna start this
Friday. oh! i forgot to say,this is still our first meeting. :) there
is a lot of pressure on us since the first group to report sucked
(oops!i'm supposed to be cleaning my language. darn it!)!

well, i gotta run! i'm already late for our meeting!! see yah! :)

long time

it has been a long time since i last posted... i don't know what to say... :) i got kinda busy with school and stuff... i'll just try to post something next week-- if my schedule allows me to... :)

oh yeah!

i celebrated my birthday with my family last Wednesday, October 1. it was a blast even though we didn't celebrate it in a fancy restaurant or a five-star resort or something. my cousins were there together
with my aunties and uncles. it was crazy (with a capital C)! two uncles
of mine wanted me to intoxicate my system with booze! and i was like,
"Okay! what the hell! you asked for it", but my grandma was watching
near by so i demurely declined the offer.hahaha ! if my grandma was not
around that time, i wouldn't say no to them. there's nothing like being
"legally" allowed to drown yourself with booze.

anyways, i was so touched with the first person who greeted me. actually, he just texted me at the first minute of my birthday (technically, that's 00:01,October
1,2008). the message was just "happy birthday boss!" (and sent 3
times,mind you). and take note, he would've called me had not my sister
stopped him. all for the sole reason that he wanted to greet me. and
you know who he is?
my sister's boyfriend. yup! her man. i was so touched, it solicited my
first smile of the day.

there were also others who greeted me--aside from my family. there was Maan,and K.A.,and Stella,and Frencille,and Junborg,and Bagzy,and Lar, and lastly Joshua (whom i had to remind because he forgot). =)

so
basically those were the people who greeted me and--allow me to say--
remembered my special day. to those who forgot my birthday,well,TO HELL
WITH YOU!(the rebel steps out again.LOL)


the end but not yet over.

my bad

have you ever made a "big mistake" in your life? and no matter how hard you try you can never undo it? or no matter how much you try to move on you seem to be stuck in that era?

yeah, well, i guess that's how i feel right now.. but life goes on and so must i.
there's no use crying over spilled milk, right?

i may be stupid for making that mistake. i may be hurt because of that. BUT I LEARNED.
i guess all i can say is "Oops! My bad!"

goodbye...

where's the good in goodbye?
when it leaves you crying,
broken and so empty inside.

where's the good in goodbye?
when all i have are memories of you and me
that will never come back.

where's the good in goodbye?
when i know my heart will be lost
without you near me.

where's the good in goodbye?
honey do i have to spell it out?
goodbye will simply mean the end of my life.

l-o-v-e

Love is the most vulnerable of all feelings; it is fleeting, capable of evaporating like mist in the morning sun. A little insincerity makes us doubt it. An argument over little things can threaten it. Sometimes it seems much easier not to struggle to love another but to be content just LOVE OURSELVES.

maybe

maybe it's not meant to be

this thing between

you and me.

maybe we're working

against the fates,

because neither of us

is meant to stay.

maybe it's time

to let go

forget everything

and just move on.

maybe we've reached

the end,

and it's time to say

our fare-thee-wells.

a broken heart

ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN A BROKEN HEART :
A BROKEN HEART is when you actually refuse to get out of bed in the morning because you are afraid of the reality that awaits you.
A BROKEN HEART is when you think about the individual that broke your heart constantly. You reminisce the "Good Times" almost as if the "Bad Times" never existed.
A BROKEN HEART is when you are crying yourself to sleep every night & yet crying more & more each morning.
A BROKEN HEART is the unforgettable smell of his shirt that sits in that empty box; stowed away.
A BROKEN HEART is the cold shattering feeling you receive when you hear the syllables of his name.
A BROKEN HEART is glancing at the pictures of the two of you, & then quickly turning your attention to something else to avoid your tears.
A BROKEN HEART is re-reading his ancient letters & putting away the jewelry that he once bought for you.
A BROKEN HEART is secretly wanting to run back to him & secretly wanting to just be loved by him again.
A BROKEN HEART is asking desperately for just one last chance with the only person responsible for your loneliness.
A BROKEN HEART is forcing yourself to hang up the phone after you have dialed the first three digits to his number.
A BROKEN HEART is screaming & begging for a second chance inside.
A BROKEN HEART is the emptiness & heart-wrenching feeling you encounter when you see him with his new love
.A BROKEN HEART is knowing that no matter what you do or say to yourself, you can't fool your heart into believing that you will in fact "Be Alright."
A BROKEN HEART is seeing him, & even though it may be the hardest thing that you have ever had to do, you decide to walk away.
A BROKEN HEART is listening to that one song that makes you break down over & over again.
A BROKEN HEART sometimes means: not wanting to go on.

broken

Now thanks to you... I'm scared to fall in love again. First of all, you broke my heart when I expected you to be the last one to do it. And now I'm left with my heart broken and in pieces and you don't even bother to notice. It's sad because all along I thought you knew me better than everyone else... but now I am starting to wonder if you even knew me at all.

Sometimes you think you've gotten over a person, but when you see him smile,you suddenly realize you're just pretending you're over him to ease the pain of knowing he will never be yours.

The worst feeling isn't being lonely its being forgotten by someone you would never forget.

what people are afraid to say...

People are afraid of saying "I love you" only to hear "I don't care" in response.
They fear exposing their weakness by admitting their hurt.
They fear being abandoned if they express their anger.
They fear telling the truth and hurting their partner.
They fear revealing their ignorance, starting a fight, opening old wounds.
And yet ignorance comes from withholding inquiry, fights occur because consensus has not been reached, and old wounds fester because they have not been exposed. Learning to talk takes bravery and trust. The rewards are worth the risk.

ReBeL KiD

i hate feeling like this!!! i hate pretending to be fine when deep inside i know i'm next to dyin'. i hate surrounding myself with a friend or two, and hang out in crowded places to blot out this empty feeling inside. i hate the person who more or less caused what i'm feeling. and most of all, i hate myself for feeling this way. i should've known better than let to that person get close to me. i wish i could've known sooner...(dammit!)

expired

it's kinda funny how we-teenagers-use the word "expired" to describe our feelings when we feel lousy or sad. why can't we just honestly say how we are feeling? then our world could become a much less pretentious world. why can't we practice telling the truth? it couldn't be that hard saying what you really feel inside even if it means unveiling the real you.

but then this world revolves around irony. and irony of all ironies, i'm posting about being real and yet i can't bring myself to admit to someone that that someone is causing me pain... :c

i never thoughted!

i never thought ROTC could be this FUN!!! hehehe! for an asthmatic girl, ROTC could mean a death sentence. yup! a literal death sentence. imagine this, students doing military drills under the scorching heat of the sun. thank heavens i'm assigned at the HQ PD. which means, i'll still be undergoing military training but- there's a BIG but- i'm doing it under the "protection" of the grandstand. hahaha! plus with the cute officers (yup! there are more than enough cute officers for you to admire) ROTC is definitely a thing to watch for.

ROTC ROCKS!!! yeah!

some things are not meant to be kept forever...

you know you have to stop and let go when things aren't going right,
and everything you did is unappreciated...

remember, it is wiser to be alone but happy...
than with somebody who do nothing while you do everything...

my mind is blank but i want to write something. although i don't know what. let's just say i'm in the mood for reflecting. ok. question, if you're gloria macapagal arroyo,what will you do regarding the ZTE scandal? will you come clean? or will you "pretend" that you don't have any notion regarding the kickbacks?
guys,i think it's high time for us to involve ourselves in the current happenings in our country. we can go out and raise our voices. well, not literaly,i mean. you can say what you feel on your friendster accounts or your blogs.