Volleyball Story

Square One

 

I was a mess last night. I did something without thinking how I'm going to take the consequences. Somehow an image of me firing a gun and unexpectedly feeling it recoil after the shot was made popped into my mind. Not only did I feel the gun recoil but I hurt myself along the way. Now, I'm sporting bruises over old wounds that apparently has never healed at all. They only festered under the healed surface. And so I'm back again to those days...

On the flip side, I now get to feel--again. I held myself back for so long because I was scared. I was scared of getting hurt. I was scared of making wrong choices. I was scared of getting broken. So I shut myself down. I became numb not knowing that the price I have to pay is my writing.

A few years ago, a friend told me that I wrote my best pieces when I was hurt. I guess he was right. I'm writing something significant again because I opened myself up to possibilities. Sure, it wasn't my idea to be like this again but I think the reason doesn't quite matter anymore. I'm back. I'm writing again. That's what's important, right?

I guess this is the time for re-learning--to re-learn how to write and to re-learn how to be alone. Going back to school, I got caught up with making new friends, doing school stuff, and so much more. I gave all my time to other people and I got used to it. So when the time came that I was alone, I craved people. I have to be surrounded with friends or else I become restless--just like what happened last night after I came home. It was just this morning that I realized what the real problem was. Now I feel like an addict who knows that getting a fix is bad but can't do anything to counter his addiction. But hey, knowing and realizing what the problem is is the first step, right? It won't be easy, I know. The road is just going to get steeper from here but the rule book doesn't say you can't take baby steps. What matters is not stopping from here on out.

Random Thoughts

People take things for granted, like time, chances, opportunities, words. We take our world for granted, our parents, our siblings, our relatives, even the very air that we breathe. Everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING is taken for granted.

I am guilty of that crime, if you can call it a crime. I took my time, my friends, and my family for granted. I even took my writing for granted. You see, it has been more than six months since I wrote something may it be a poem, a lyrics for a song, or just a plain essay. I kept delaying and delaying thinking that I will have a time for it later or tomorrow or the next day. But the time never came.

One quote I got from Gene Simmons about writing (yeah, THE Gene Simmons from the legendary rock band Kiss) was "It's not about inspiration, it's all about hard work'. And boy was he right! If you don't push yourself, most likely you would end up having nothing. All you'd have are plans, nothing more, nothing less.

The last thing I want is to preach. But if you don't get up and make your dreams a reality, in the end all you will have are dreams.

I didn't plan on writing something right now because I don't feel like it. Hehehe! Pero ganina ra to. I was inspired by something I have read ganina. And now I can't seem to stop writing even though murag I'm not making any sense. Hahaha!

This note was supposed to be senti and emo-ish but I got sidetracked. Typical Trexie. Hehehe!

Ian Eastwood

Ian Eastwood

Introvert

Dear You

Joel Peat

joelpeatstagram: Getting acquainted! #52GoldtopLesPaul

Joel Peat of Lawson's guitar.

Kings of Leon

Somehow I just found myself playing this song over and over tonight. Oh me and my weirdness. Haha!

Anyways, I think this band is really good. And to think that they're brothers makes them a gazillion times cooler in my eyes. They're style of playing is like a combination of the old blues music being played in New Orleans added with the new techie effects that present musicians are using. And don't forget Caleb's raspy-rock-n-roll voice! Add all those factors together and you get yourself one hell of a song.

I think I'll be playing this song on repeat for the next few days or so. ;)

Weird and Proud!

I Stand Alone