A Quote By Jared Leto

Long Time

I know I said I'll post something SOON but a couple of things happened to me and my family which hindered me from posting anything. First of all, the night that I talked about posting about my reviews on the second and third book of the Fifty Shades trilogy, my Uncle got rushed to the hospital. He underwent emergency a few hours later. And with just more or less 4 hours of sleep, I went to the hospital to relieve my Auntie of the task. He was released from the hospital a few days later.

However after 48 hours or so, another news broke. My Grandma's sister died. The whole family went into mourning mode. I didn't think it was appropriate that I spend time online when my other Grandma was lying in a coffin. Her wake lasted for more than a week, and it was only after that period that I started thinking about coming back online. Then my little sister got busy with her volleyball practice, and as the older sister, I feel like I have to supervise her training hours.

And now, I'm back again--but only for a mere 24 hours. I still don't know when I'll be able to come online again but I still have every intention of posting my reviews about Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed.

Fifty

It's been a few weeks since I last posted something. And I can still remember my plan of posting what I think of the second and third book of the Fifty trilogy. That's exactly what I'm going to do but not now. Haha! I'm quite in a good mood today and I'm saving my writing mood during melancholic times. Hopefully I'll be able to come online tomorrow so I can post my reviews--the operative word being hopefully.

Crossing my fingers,
Trexie ;)

Fifty Shades of Grey

Ever since the literature world was taken by storm by the Fifty Shades trilogy, I never had the compunction to read even one of the books. And I simply don't have any explanation for it although I do have the electronic copies of the book stored in my email. A few days ago, I felt a little bit restless and I know re-reading my old books would never satisfy me. So I opened my email and started reading my Fifty Shades of Grey ebook. I started reading around 9 that evening and finished it around 6 the following morning. If you all remember my post about Twilight, you wouldn't be surprised to hear that I stayed up the whole night just to read a book.

Although I didn't become a fan after reading the first book of the Fifty Shades trilogy, there are some things that I'd like to note. For me, the story was very plain (maybe because I've read several chapters of the fan fiction which started the trilogy in the first place). There was nothing incredible about it, well until I got to the ending though. But we'll talk about it in a while.

Now, if you make a conscious effort of just glossing over those scenes which depicts sexual relations, there are several things that you might find out. First of all, why does Christian Grey doesn't want Anastasia Steele to touch his chest? This isn't something that you can find in any male character and it made me think that maybe Christian isn't nearly as perfect as Anastasia views him. The great and invincible Mr. Grey is not really as great and invincible as we would like to think. He has issues from his past that has made him into the man he is.

Let's talk about the ending. I thought the plot was very plain for a book which has sold like hotcakes in the market. However the last few pages of the story caught my eye. I think that the time when Anastasia reacted strongly to Christian after he hit her with the belt six times is the climax of the story. It was at that point that she finally saw Christian for who he is. Throughout the story, Anastasia has only looked at Christian through rose-colored glasses. Oh he is perfect in his impeccable gray suit, or his super sexy white shirt with a few open buttons, or how hot and smoldering his eyes get when looking at her. After the sixth time the belt hit her, reality came crashing--hard. In that moment, Anastasia saw Christian Grey as a man who has his own hang-ups--or probably even more. She realized that he is not capable of loving her the way she wanted to be loved. And try hard as she might, she will never be the woman he wants. And so she leaves him.

After reading the story, I feel a little sympathy for Christian. He did all he could to make Anastasia feel good---loved even, if we allow it. He even admitted that he shared quite a few first times with her. Needless to say, he is slowly working his way from his issues. He just needed enough time to reach an impasse with his own self but Anastasia wanted everything from the get-go. And that's where the problem lies.

So now, I'm reading the second book of the trilogy which is entitled Fifty Shades Darker just to see what happens to their twisted love story. The first few pages were good but I think I'll be seeing more of the "should-I-be-with-him or should-I-stay-away" argument as the story transpires.

What Now?

I find myself in a melancholic mood today and so I found myself wondering. Is this all there is to it? Somehow I realized that things weren't going the way I thought they'd be and now I wonder if my plans for the next few months are still possible. Then I ask myself "what happens if doesn't pan out?". Do I push through with everything even if the odds are stacked against me? Or I regroup and wait for a better time? But what if my idea of a "better time" doesn't come? What now? This is the question running through my mind right this very moment. What now?

I guess I'll just have to let myself wallow in self-pity--if only for this time. I'll feel better later. Maybe, maybe not. But for now, I'll let this be...

I wonder how it'll feel like to love again. Or be loved for that matter.

Intellect and Passion

I was reading this book about a coven of witches one time and I stumbled upon this phrase "Intellect, pride, and passion. Was it any wonder that she stirred him?" and it made me realize that it simply defines what I want my future mate to have--INTELLECT and PASSION.

Intellect because I don't want to be with someone who doesn't understand me or the things I talk about or do. I don't want to constantly explain things to my partner. And because I'm fond of talking or texting in English, I certainly don't want to avoid using it because my partner wouldn't understand me if do. I want someone who is mentally stimulating. And that, I think, is the most important factor of all. I don't care if the guy is not a valedictorian, a straight A student, or doesn't have a Latin title attached to his name. I just want someone who will constantly be able to rouse my interest.

Now, who wouldn't want someone passionate (no pun intended)? Passion can be manifested in things such as sports, music, charity, art, etc. But the two closest to my heart is sports and music. I'll feel fine if a guy has passion for either of these two but if he has passion for both music and sports, then I'll consider myself very lucky! I'm very passionate about music. Not a day goes by that I don't listen, sing, or dance to a particular song so it will mean a lot if the guy is also interested in music. Not to mention, it'll also be another thing we can share with each other.

I grew up playing volleyball and watching my uncles and cousins play basketball, and learning other sports during my elementary years so it's not surprising that I want a guy who has a passion for sports. Although I prefer he likes manly sports like basketball or soccer. Haha!

I don't pretty much care for pride though since I have it in spades. And with him being very proud, a single argument may cause a huge falling-out between the two of us. Haha! But if who I'm destined to be with has tons of pride to go around, then I'm willing to sacrifice a little and strike a compromise with him. Love should prevail, shouldn't it?

In any case, intellect and passion is all I want in a guy. Is that too much to ask for? You tell me.

P and P - Finale (American Ending)

Sundays at Tiffany's

Oh Mr. Darcy!

“I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of any thing than of a book! — When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library.” — Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Can I have this as my room?

Woah!

#ARG

Took a screen cap of what I had last Saturday night. I still have the tab containing Andrew Garfield's photo opened until now. I just put my computer on stand-by mode since then. Hahaha! Isn't he cute?

Jared's Eyes

His eyes are to die for! Oh Jared!

Reunited After A Long Time

Here's what went down. Last Saturday I got to meet with my friends after a long time. It was months ago when we've last seen each other so I really made sure I charged my camera's battery. I was like more than an hour late which isn't really big news. Haha! Here are some of the pics we had.

 (L-R: me, Sheena, Wileen, and Vincent)

I took out my cam and Vincent was just "Let's talk a picture!" and we immediately posed. Haha! Michelle wasn't in this pic because she was talking to an old friend from her Uni days. By the way, Vincent took this pic so his position looks kinda awkward while we get to have a good angle. On a side note, I wonder if the lady on my far left side knows she was caught in the pic. Hahaha!

(me, Sheen, Michelle, Wileen)

One of the many reasons why I love these girls is because they're loyal to the core and we know we can trust each other.

One of the things we do when we get together is to play at the World of Fun, more commonly called WOF in our place. And last Saturday was not an exception. We shot hoops and played this sort of shooting game on a screen. I was okay with the basketball game since I grew playing the sport with my cousins but the shooting game was another matter. It's safe to say that I sucked on the second game. Hahaha! The game machine "spits out" these yellow coupons depending on how well you played the game. I guess my yellow coupon says it all. Yep! It's the one encased in the green box. Hahaha! I don't think I wanna play that game ever again--nor do I even want to practice it. Ugh!

I definitely had fun last Saturday and I bet they did too! We promised to arrange one on the books again soon so we can all just have fun together. We agreed to do it once every month but that remains to be seen since we all live busy lives. Haha! But I'm sure everyone's willing to compromise so that we can simply hang out together.

the story of my life

I Can't Even!

I mean seriously, who wouldn't even fall in love with this guy? He's cute. He's sweet. He's talented. And he can sing to you!

Blake Jenner is a star in the making.

Keep Calm

Blellie At It's Best

I just want to say I just became a gi-normous fan of forehead kisses! So dear future boyfriend, you need to be taller than me. Sincerely, Me.

Awww

I ♥ Blellie

Blellie is the name (if you can call it one) to the team up of Blake and Nellie who are both contestants in the second season of The Glee Project. And I ship them so much!

“You say that you love rain, but you open your umbrella when it rains. You say that you love the sun, but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines. You say that you love the wind, but you close your windows when wind blows. This is why I am afraid, you say that you love me too.”

--William Shakespeare

the lip-biting is ladfljdsjksjksskf

do you have to be so adorbs Andrew Garfield? :))

Melanie and Marko I Got You Routine

This is one of my favorite routines on So You Think You Can Dance so far. I mean, the routine is very clean. The connection--undeniable. The chemistry--perfect. And it's choreographed by none other than Napoleon and Tabitha or simply called NappyTabs in the dance world. What more can you ask for in a dance number? And the kiss! Oh my gosh! I felt like a thousand butterflies suddenly decided to fly together.

Melanie and Marko are just perfect for each other. Sad to say Melanie has a boyfriend so dear Marko has to wait for his chance. :(

Rebel Heart

Rebel Heart is the title of the story I read weeks ago. I read it online on this site. I thought it was just another run-off-the-mill love story where the male and female protagonists get all cuddly and mushy with each other--I was wrong.

The story took place in a nuclear-ravaged United States in 2135 AD, where the line between allies and enemies have blurred. Lana, the female protagonist, works for the government. Before chaos erupted, her boss called her, using a secure line, instructing her to prepare her things because she will be going away for an indefinite time and somebody will contact her. The name of that somebody is Brady--who, by the way used Guardian as his codename while giving Lana the codename Angel. The two of them continue communicating with each other through the use of a radio. My previous post is just one of the many "radio conversations" they had before they actually met each other.

Rebel Heart is actually quite a unique and captivating story which I highly recommend to readers who want to have the elements of romance and action in one story.

P.S. Sorry if I don't refer to it as a book because it's not really a book according to my vocabulary. :D

Weird Conversation

"You carry yourself like you were. Look, I'm being summoned to hunt some bad men. God willing, I die in battle sometime soon. If not, I'll make you a promise. Keep my men with food and water, and I'll marry you if our paths ever cross," he said. "I don't starve, and you don't die alone. Sound like a good plan?"

"I don't think either of us will live that long, but I'll agree to your terms," she replied with a laugh. "Be safe, and don't be in the facility when the alarm rearms."

I'm currently reading this story online. The story revolves around a nuke ravaged world. Both protagonists don't know how long they'll be able to survive, hence the "I'll marry you if our paths ever cross" promise. This kind of conversation makes me curious as to what happens as the story transpires so I'm excited to get back to reading it. I'll tell you about it when I'm done. :)

The Perfection I Can't Find

At the stroke of midnight last Sunday, I had the sudden urge to reach out to my best friend because I felt I was undergoing a personal crisis. We're texting back and forth and I realized, I haven't told her my "realizations". And that's why I know she didn't "get" what I was trying to tell her at the time--the operative word being TRYING.(Not to mention, she must've thought I went bonkers already.) So anyways, I hope to enlighten her about what's troubling me--expressing my thoughts is only a side benefit.

I came to the conclusion that the reason why I'm still single up to this day is because I'm looking for perfection. Perfection in the sense that the guy should be at least 5 feet, 11 inches. Or that he should love music, knows how to play the guitar, be athletic, and speak excellent English. These are the things that I instantly look for in a guy and if he doesn't have them, he gets the boot.

I realized one time almost 2 years ago while I was out on a dare with a friend. Okay, let me tell you something about my friend and that dare. I was dared by a friend to give him a tour of the city and since he was born and raised in that city--while I was not--we mutually decided that he should be the one to tour me. At that time, we both have jobs during the day which left us the option of "touring" at night. We had a very late dinner together, and after which he took me to this town barely 5 minutes from the city. We got there past 11PM. The town was located on a hill so it was actually pretty chilly when we got there. Good thing we each brought jackets!

When we got there, he immediately launched his speech of how he accepted things and simply moved on when he broke his heart to someone we both know. Then he talked of why "it happened" and firmly believed that everything happens for a reason. He was so open and honest about his feelings that I felt the need to open up too. So I told him about this guy who I really liked and how every guy who tried to woo me just became dull after him. My friend went kinda psychiatrist on me and vaguely hinted that maybe, just maybe, it was me all along. That there was nothing wrong with those guys but it was me who was comparing them to that "guy" all along. And when I found that they didn't quite measure up, I slowly show them the door.

I was shocked! For a moment I could't speak. I knew he was right. And when I finally acknowledge my mistake he gently advised me to stop comparing every guy I see with that "guy" I was talking about earlier. Easier said than done. It's been almost 2 years and I still have the same problem, the same hang up. This is what I've been trying to tell people all along. I have a problem and it's serious. But I have to work it out in my own time. It may be slow but I'm determined to get there. Someday...

When Loneliness Strikes

Fvck! I don't know how to do this or if I'm doing this right. But I'm feeling so lonely tonight, like so freakin lonely you have no idea what it feels like.

I turned off my computer an hour ago and got ready for bed when out of nowhere I felt empty. Then I got thinking of the past guys who courted me. And I realized none of them even got close to get to know the real me. It's not their fault though. I hid myself from them. Even when they gave their best to try to win me over, I acted like the cynical bitch that I am and questioned everything they say or did. I was always looking for flaws. Comparing them with their predecessor or the guy who I called "the perfect one", I meticulously dug through each of their features both physically and mentally until I find their flaws. Then I go for the kill like asking myself "why do I wan't to be with somebody who isn't at least 5 feet, 11 inches in height" or "why settle with someone who can't even construct a single sentence with grammatical error".

The process repeated itself from one suitor to the next until I just let go. I told myself I'd be better off if my just concentrate on my friends and my family. I was so focused on them that I never felt some stirring emotionally. Oh there were always the parade of crushes! But they were men I'd never get to meet in real life. They were actors, musicians, and athletes. But when you talk of real, solid men who admire me--I can't give a name.

Yes, that's how pathetic my life is! Oh I know, I've gotten over "the break up that was". That was 5 years ago already for fvck's sake! There's a more recent heartbreak and that's the reason why I completely shut down but let's talk about some other time. For now, let's talk about how lonely I am. Hell! I've never felt this way. Before, when I feel this way, I simply cry my heart out then sleep. This time sleep completely eluded me. This time when I just needed a way to oblivion, sleep became the devil's accomplice and forced me to reevaluate my life--THOROUGHLY. Oh well, if I still can't sleep after a few minutes I'll just have to watch the football match between Germany and Portugal. And that's how exciting my life is. Amazing, isn't it? NOT!

(P.S. It's 1:42AM already.)

“Remember when I was little and I thought if I closed my eyes, then nobody could see me? I wish I still believed that.”

—Jane Margaux, Sundays at Tiffany’s

guys should learn something from this kid

from the movie Sundays at Tiffany's

Filipino’s grandmama could be Russia’s Anastasia

By Emily A. Abrera
Philippine Daily Inquirer

I first met Caty Petersen in October 2010 through a mutual friend, who was convinced that I was the right person to write Caty’s story.

She divulged nothing more than that, asking me to just keep an open mind and join them for lunch, which at least promised to be a pleasant one; Kai was one of my favorite restaurants, and we hadn’t seen each other for months.

Caty rushed in, late and breathless and wide-eyed, a large brown envelope in hand, which she handed to me.

Over the next hour, I listened to her relate the highlights of a most unusual tale, riveting in many aspects, and somewhat incredible in others.

The story tumbled out of her, unrestrained. It was a search for roots.

Read more.

Provincial Life Is... Provincial!

So yesterday we experienced the first summer rain that happened during daytime. Most of the rains we suffered happened during nighttime when people are asleep but yesterday was different. And it wasn't the regular summer rain you experience when the drops are slow and kinda soft, no, it was literally a downpour like I've never seen. I have to shout to my younger sister to tell her I'm ready to go out and play under the rain and I wasn't even sure if she heard me. Good thing she was also thinking the same thing so we just looked at each other and ran out of the door.

We ran along the gutters, and even outside to edge of the roof of the covered court just to play with the water running over the edges. And because we have a ginormous mango tree a few feet from our front gate, my sister and I decided to pick up the mangoes which have fallen from the tree. I wanted to take a picture of my and my sister under the rain but my camera isn't waterproof so all I have is a nice memory.

I seriously don't know how long we just ran and laughed and ran and laughed again under the rain. One time, I stopped and just savored the moment. Then I wondered when was the last time I was able to play under the rain. Sad thing was, I couldn't even remember when it was. I couldn't remember the last time when I "didn't have a care". Oh, I wasn't responsible all the time but the last two years had made me "grow up". I had to. I felt like I had no choice and now I can't shrug it off and don on that "I don't give a damn" cloak. Somehow in the past two years I had changed whether I realized it or not. And that's why I'm thankful for those small moments when I can simply let my hair down and forget all my worries.

Something To Ponder On

Yes, love. I want to do all these things with you and more. <3

you are

Friends always tell me to let it go, that the one who’s meant to be with me for all time is coming and that I should be patient, or I should feel blessed by being single. But you know what? There are times when I feel so alone. Suffice to say this is one of those times. I want to lock myself up in a house the whole day, eat junk foods, sleep during the day, and be awake the whole listening to love songs while they break my heart all over again.

And this is me exorcising me demons.

How To Make Me Fall In Love With You

How To Make Me Fall In Love With You

What The Hell?

Adele on Swearing

Love Is Louder

Valentine's 2012

I was MIA from the online community yesterday for a reason—it’s Valentine’s and I don’t want to get more wrong ideas about being single and staying one.

I woke up pretty late already since the weather also cooperated. I got up from my bed past 10 already. Hahaha! If you know me well enough, you know I’m definitely not a morning person. So anyways, my Grandma was in the kitchen when I went down so we chatted until we it was time to eat lunch. I showered after eating then went to the living room to watch TV, in the hopes to see either the replay of the Grammy’s or the Azkals game. Just as I settled in, my Grandpa all but but demanded he needed to watch CJ Corona’s impeachment trial, a went to my room a little pissed off.

I browsed which books I haven’t read yet and chose a random one. It was halfway in to the story when I realized I picked a story theme that I found really appealing—a Russian operative with glacier-like blue eyes and a girl with a broken heart. I couldn’t count how many times I stopped reading just to say “awww” or wipe tears from my eyes. The story was just so darn good! I stopped reading to eat dinner and watch a little TV but then I got spooked watching The Secret Circle all alone with the lights off so I went back to reading. I got so engrossed in the story I didn’t notice I was already on the last page.

And that was how exciting my Valentine’s day was, not that I have any regrets. :)

Summer

Madridista

Haters gon' hate baby!

This picture just breaks my heart. There's something vulnerable about the girl that is completely opposite to what's around her--huge waves and strong winds.

Look at the way she clutches the shawl. The way I see it, the shawl seems like a life line and she's holding on to it and holding it close to her heart.

Sissy Love

For what it's worth, I miss my sister. :( She had to go somewhere and every night I wish I can turn back the time so I can safely keep her inside the house. Alas! Some things can't be stopped. Or maybe they can. I just didn't have the strength to stop her. Dammit!

Hala Madrid!

This is how my team celebrates. I love Real Madrid so haters can stay the hell away from blog.

Dreamcatcher